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Se intampla si in America

Aceste dialoguri sunt luate dintr-o carte numita „Disorder in the American Courts”, si sunt 100% reale, reprezentand ceea ce au spus oamenii la un moment dat in fata Curtii. Special le-am lasat in limba engleza pentru a nu se pierde vreunul dintre sensuri la traducere.
Bucurati-va! Este vineri si exista si lucruri amuzante pe lume.

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ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, „Where am I, Cathy?”
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
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ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he’s twenty-one.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitt’in me?
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ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh…. I was gett’in laid!
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work..
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ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
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ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
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ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
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ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh….are you qualified to ask that question?
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– Si cea mai tare, am lasat-o la urma: –

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Anunțuri

Comments on: "Se intampla si in America" (6)

  1. mi-ai mai descretit fruntea:)…haioase, mai ales pentru ca zici ca-s adevarate.

  2. Majoritatea le citisem prin diferite locuri, multe dintre ele precum bancuri. 😛

    Pe langa cea din urma, foarte tare este tot faza legata de avocati: „Did you actually PASS the bar exam?” :))

  3. It was nice to see your blog.Just Keep Writing!

    ______________________________
    Don’t pay for your electricity any longer…
    Instead, the power company will pay YOU!

  4. Heh, m-au distrat la culme! 😀

  5. Interesant, m-am amuzat copios – pe unele le stiam insa mi-a prins bine sa le recitesc 🙂

  6. Te-ai intrebat vreodata de ce….
    … unii soferi insista sa ne polueze cu numele si data lor de nastere?
    wwww.tvdece.blogspot.com

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